I want to send this to the higher power of the highest source, I come to you in my christ name Yvonne Bortz. Please keep me in your white light of protection. Please bring me out of days of pain and sickness. Please remove any visions of me from seers.
Lately I have been feeling so depressed. All I see is the negativity in my life. I don’t even want to get out of bed. Feels like I am failing at everything. I feel like I am fighting with the devil, and he is mocking me. I have been feeling so low, I know I cannot stay like this. All I can do is surround myself in prayer. I have to keep pushing forward.
I believe that the higher power has a unique plan for you and me. I believe that for whatever reason God wanted me to have Cerebral Palsy and this life. I do not subscribe to the theory that we choose who we want to before we come to earth. I think that if we got to pick our own lives; we would have completely different lives. That being said, God knows more than I do, so I will have to trust him to get me out of the mess I have made of my life.
I am finished, this book has helped me spirituality. If going to read it with an open mind. Read it slowly.
I am on chapter ten.
I am on chapter 9.
27% through I Am the Word: A Guide to the Consciousness of Man’s Self in a Transitioning Time by Selig, Paul
I don’t like the father’s opinion about gays, however I support his right to express his opinion. I don’t feel A&E has the right to punish the father, because his opinion goes against the mainstream.
I try to be as possible, but I always have this negative voice in the back of my mind telling me I would be better off dead. Sometimes I long to be home and by home I mean heaven. I am always particularly melancholy around this time of year, because February will be 19 years of my brother John’s death; John committed suicide when he was 17. I feel partly responsible for his death, because I knew how unhappy it was with life, but I just then he would suck it up and deal with it like the rest of us. After he died I remember being jealous because he had the courage to do what I could not do, which is end my own suffering. No matter how much I hate this life at times, I cannot against God’s will.
My brother John and I would constantly argue about the existence of God. This is when I believe in more of a traditional religion, like Christianity. I am grateful to tell you that my Outlook had greatly improved, however in the back of my mind I have doubts about whether I am worthy of anything positive. I still believe that suicide is not the answer, because life is forever changing, as long as you have breath you have a chance to make it wonderful.
I am now finished reading this book and I feel spiritually uplifted. I really do see things much more clearly now. I see my mistakes in feeding the ego part of me. I think what I’ve learned most from this book, just because somebody told you something about yourself doesn’t make it true.