Is Depression a spiritual Attack?

Lately I have been feeling so depressed. All I see is the negativity in my life. I don’t even want to get out of bed. Feels like I am failing at everything. I feel like I am fighting with the devil, and he is mocking me. I have been feeling so low, I know I cannot stay like this. All I can do is surround myself in prayer. I have to keep pushing forward.

I believe in a higher power

I believe that the higher power has a unique plan for you and me. I believe that for whatever reason God wanted me to have Cerebral Palsy and this life. I do not subscribe to the theory that we choose who we want to  before we come to earth. I think that if we got to pick our own lives; we would have completely different lives. That being said, God knows more than I do, so I will have to trust him to get me out of the mess I have made of my life.

Somedays it is a struggle to find a will to live

I try to be as possible, but I always have this negative voice in the back of my mind telling me I would be better off dead. Sometimes I long to be home and by home I mean heaven. I am always particularly melancholy around this time of year, because February will be 19 years of my brother John’s death; John committed suicide when he was 17. I feel partly responsible for his death, because I knew how unhappy it was with life, but I just then he would suck it up and deal with it like the rest of us. After he died I remember being jealous because he had the courage to do what I could not do, which is end my own suffering. No matter how much I hate this life at times, I cannot against God’s will.
My brother John and I would constantly argue about the existence of God. This is when I believe in more of a traditional religion, like Christianity. I am grateful to tell you that my Outlook had greatly improved, however in the back of my mind I have doubts about whether I am worthy of anything positive. I still believe that suicide is not the answer, because life is forever changing, as long as you have breath you have a chance to make it wonderful.

The Book of Love and Creation: A Channeled Text

I am now finished reading this book and I feel spiritually uplifted. I really do see things much more clearly now.  I see my mistakes in feeding the ego part of me.  I think what I’ve learned most from this book, just because somebody told you something about yourself doesn’t make it true.